Stagnant

Well...it's Monday again and here I sit! I'm the same weight today as I was a month ago! And using the same excuses--it's too hot to exercise and too difficult to eat right without a real frig.

I have been somewhat contemplative lately. While I haven't figured out how to get past them, I have realized some of the things that trigger my eating. "Finding Sarah" and "Why Not?" (Shania Twain's story) have helped me to consider my childhood and the choices I made then compared to young adulthood and the poor choices I made then. I find it easy to ignore the poor choices I make now! (LOL) But the truth is that I am still eating to please my taste buds!

I can't blame my weight and lack of exercise on anyone but me. My problem back then was just not thinking. It never occurred to me that I needed to eat with the purpose of feeding my BODY. Exercise was not what it is today--there were no gyms, no fitness centers. At least, not where I lived.

Each time I have put my mind to it, committed it to God and worked at it (probably 10 times in the past 35 years) I have been able to lose weight--10, 15, as much as 30 pounds--but as soon as I start to look and feel good, the bad eating starts again and the weight comes back.

So, right now, my yo-yo is stuck in the up position! I know I need to get down (weight-wise) but history tells me I'm going to be back up here before too long anyway--so why leave? :)

Sorry--this is not very entertaining. What I face is a mental block and all my contemplation hasn't helped me past it. I suppose I need a Niki sign to wake up to every morning--JUST DO IT! In the meantime, I will try again today to make wise choices in what I eat and try to motivate myself to get out and walk. Here's hoping...